DESIGNER VAGINA SONG!!!
speaking as one who has a labia the size of, oh, rhode island, i am very pleased to see someone has taken up their ukulele (mandolin?) for this cause because i’m so fucking busy with this fucking book i haven’t had time.
apparently ’The American Society of Plastic Surgery (ASPS) states 1,030 “vaginal rejuvenation” procedures were performed in 2006. The two recognized plastic surgery organizations in the United States, the American Society of Plastic Surgery and the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery (ASAPS), stopped tracking these procedures after 2006. However, surgeons in the United States, the United Kingdom, as well as in other developed nations, report that the procedure seems to be growing exponentially in popularity.’
my labia are (sorry to TMI the shit out of you, but hey, here you are) about two inches long. and wrinkly. i can practically tie them in a knot.
i remember being a teenager and looking at porn and wondering if they were wrong. but none of my lovers ever seemed to care, so I let it go.
i think it might be time for me to write the I HAVE SLEPT WITH LIKE A HUNDRED PEOPLE AND NONE OF THEM SEEMED TO MIND THAT I HAD A GIANT LABIA book.
i know this may seem like an unseemly little topic but i really would like to add my voice to melissa’s on this one:
GIRLS: YOUR VULVA IS FINE THE WAY IT IS. REALLY. IT MAY SEEM LIKE IT’S WEIRD-LOOKING, BUT IT’S NOT. THAT IS WHAT VULVAE AND LABIA LOOK LIKE.
EVERYBODY: VAGINAS GENERALLY DON’T LOOK LIKE PERFECT LITTLE PINK-FLOWER VAGINAS YOU SEE IN PORN!!
SEX ORGANS ARE FUNNY-LOOKING!!! HAVE YOU *SEEN* A PENIS LATELY??
i also found a site called “realself.com” (http://www.realself.com/review/thailand-th-labiaplasty-trim-meth-bangkok) and this sad little exchange in a forum, a thread started by a new zealand girl who sounds like she’s relatively young and got a labiaplasty for $854 dollars.
"I haven’t been happy with the length of Labia Minora [i think she means majora - afp] for about 5 years, I have guys comment on it and getting Brazilian waxes and wearing a bikini is always nerve wracking….then heard from someone that in Thailand you can get it don’t for a really affordable price and they have great surgeons over there as long as you do your research and find the right one just like in any country. Anyway so six months later I was off to Bangkok with my mum…."
then a set of follow-up posts and pictures of her recovery and freak-out when the stitches didn’t dissolve, etc etc: and a comment below:
"Why the hell would you do that ? It’s like cutting the petals from a flower to have only the flower button !!!"
"Because it was uncomfortable and embarrassing having large labia, no offence but it’s comments like this that made my only feel like I could trust one person to tell about the surgery, which was my mum trust me I wouldn’t have gone through all of this if it wasn’t going to make massive positive difference to my life."
and therein lies the question…..
why, oh why, was it uncomfortable and embarrassing?
i want to sprinkle anti-shame fairy dust all over the world today